well...I dont know what I expect, or why I let shit bother me about them....after being on this planet for 30 years, one would think I could get a grip....but apparently not. why does it bother me so much that I feel abandoned by my father...still...after all these years...replaced by his "new" family..those girls don't have a clue what it was like for us, not that they should have to, but if it weren't for mom leaving him, they wouldnt bloody well be here. There is no way, short of him beating me or something worse, would I put my girls through the life of poverty that we endured...no frigging way. Even though there were others out there that had it worse than us, I don't want my kids to ever have to deal with the shit I did..not enough money for food, clothes, activities, whatever...bullshit. How unhappy does one have to be to make their kids go without? I know that I will always do whatever's in my power to make my marriage work...no matter how miserable i am...they do not deserve to be put at risk....
on to more interesting things...I googled former roomie....and apologised for telling the truth about her former habits, many, many years ago....what was I looking for? Nothing really, just wanted her to know I was sorry for what I said and the ramifications of my actions....no hidden agenda...unlike the government....that was the worst thing I ever did...how ironic that it was to tell the truth...surprisingly she emailed back...life is funny, its not like we're looking to reconcile, but it almost feels like something else...we shall see.