Little baby...little baby...oh...little baby.....*smile*....pretty little baby....so pretty...is that a smile for mommy?
My pretty little baby just puked like hell on me....the joy..and not just a little bit of vomit, either...a whole huge ass amount..good thing its time for bed anyway...totalled my shirt. gotta luv it. I cant believe that baby girl's 8 weeks and one whole day already...seems like she's been here forever, but just got here at the same time...and the two year old...seems so big in comparison, but when I was walking down the road towards her and her dad, she looked so teeny in that big blue snowsuit, could hardly believe that someone as ltiny as that could run so bloody fast. I need to be more gentle with that girl of mine...sometimes I treat her so gruffly..I need to be on the constant reminder that she is still a little baby herself and treat her like a stranger - with all the kindness and generosity we usually reserve for those we've never met and may never see again...instead of shouting and shoving her out of "the way"...she will only ever be this little this once and I wont get even a second back thats passed. i need to just get over my feelings of wasted life - they never asked to be born, and just because I never wanted to be a mother shouldnt have anything to do with them. cherish cherish cherish. thats all there is to it...i need to take care of me first though so i can take good care of them..so goodnight and get some rest, frigging nut case.